chemo/radio poem
A remembrance of counting down the hours, days, weeks and years of treatment and recovery
I originally wrote this poem as an entry into the National Poetry Day competition theme of “Counting”.
Wracking my remaining brains for a moment in my life when counting, particularly something with the tension of counting down, was on my mind, I came up with the hours counted down over 6 weeks of chemoradiotherapy, along with the most difficult 3 weeks post treatment. Ending 2 years later and finding closure in remembering all the people I’d met and had lost along the way.
This is my poem, chemo/radio:
And the original text:
one five one two: counting down
novelty breathes in needles and bruises
six week programme, an attestation
you may win and no one really loses
one three four four: still smiling, flaking, shaking
sure and raw, chemical double shot stick
sole drive, overconfidence
park, junction, hard shoulder: sick
eleven seven six to six seven two:
friends found, dying, crying, sifting
end in sight, mirage of the final
goal posts shifting, lying, drifting
three three six to zero and pause
eat! Bell not ready to ring
sips and custard, saviours from tubes
needles continue, marrow builds, recovery begins
two years gone, survivor guilt, gift unreturned
grappling, all change, learn or do
friends I see, treasure, hold
some friends still leaving, I’ll remember you
- chemo/radio